The Fox and the Buffalo

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By Robin Griswold — Jun 3, 2026

Linear

It might be product of the hormones Im taking. Those hormones were always supposed to be there though, so this more likely has the effect of bringing me closer to alignment with myself than distorting my thinking.

Photo by Abigael Sidi, West Side Rag

I wrote this on my typewriter because I am extra.

It might be product of the hormones 1m taking. Those hormones were always supposed to be there though, so this more likely has the effect of bringing me closer to alignment with myself than distorting my thinking A curious interpretation as I think about it since estrogen is often used as an excuse to dismiss opinions and thoughts rather than to solicit them. I'm still getting used to being myself so thank you for your patience, aha t I have been thinking about recently is the unspoken yes. The feeling of complete agreement with a moment , That something is correct and in perfect alignment with the universe . It is nearly always unexpected for me. If I am in the conscious act of' trying to get something right it ends up being anal *zed and critic zed in pursuit of getting it correct , whether it is a mental or physical task. I want to do a good job after all, continual process improvement and all that. its nature , this takes away the spontaneous nature of trying to get it right. There is a real pure magic of falling into something and nailing it the first time without forethought. it feels like mastery, even if only briefly. Its usually always briefly The "oh shit I put the lip stick on straight" or "oh hey this dress really kills 1m barely awake but the fit is good" kind of stuff that comes early with a transition. These are spontaneous in nature . There is a second kind of unspoken yes . This kind reaches from the past or from the present backward. Ion—linear time can be difficult to explain when you are brought up in the western European culture. Other cultures that deal with non—linear time could probably explain this better. The kind of thing where a ritual or act folds time on itself, and there you are with your ancestors and posterity all doing the same act together in the same place and time. Except here its yourself. Like running into the future and finding a past version of yourself waiting for you there. Really weird meta shit . "You are going to know why you did the things you did and felt the you felt , and you wont see it coming but it will feel as if you always knew and never forget while having it feel like you aren’t the same person.” Yeah sure thats a normal thing to go through all the time now. The most prominent visible thing that happens with now is wearing heels I suppose. Ive always been a toe walker. When I started wearing heels a few years ago my ability to walk and perform my job in them all day, day after day, drew a lot of praise from women along with some "I don’t know how you do it, I could never last in those." 1 guess if youve been waiting for yourself since before and aft r, you end up discovering (rediscovering?) a lot of hidden talents, or natural resting positions for your soul. I think this would make an interesting mechanic for a skill tree in an RPG. A character that was secretly building up skills they never knew they had, and an entirely different progression oath opens 1.10 to them if they choose to follow it , and it all conforms to the most natural state of being for the player. Thars the thing I think 1m real Iv trying to grasp here. It All feels so natural. This should have been me all along. It vas me all along. Kinda fucked up.' Anyway, people have said I seem happier lately. Robin. (fuck it rocks to write that name. — It might be product of the hormones 1m taking. Those hormones were always supposed to be there though, so this more likely has the e f feet of bringing me closer to alignment with myself than distorting my thinking A curious interpretation as I think about it since estrogen is often used as an excuse to dismiss opinions and thoughts rather than to solicit them. I'm still getting used to being myself so thank you for your patience,